I don't offer an SLA, but if it breaks, I'll give you back a prorated amount of money if you are nice. Also, I hate ads. They are stupid and make your stuff look stupid. So I don't use them, even though it'd make me money. Instead, I charge a bit more for things.
So, to buy some services, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your full name, what service you'd like, and your billable email address. Once payment is received (I use Stripe), your services will be enabled ASAP!